The World of Work

Yesterday was a rough day....a really rough day. It wasn't necessarily that anything particularly out of the ordinary happened, but I was in a particularly out of the ordinary funk. I was ill from the moment I woke up. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the height of snippiness (or another word that I'm sure you can imagine), I was probably an 11...maybe even a 12.

Most days I don't dislike the work that I do. For the most part I get to enter data, manage spreadsheets, key payroll, and update folders. It's all pretty standard and I like it that way. I do interact with people on some level but and it is enough to make me feel like I am still part of the world without being overwhelming.

I don't dread coming to work. I've had jobs that I've dreaded and I'm so incredibly grateful that this is not one of those. Yesterday was just one of those days in which things began to build. I think it started with the e-mails....the ones where people asked questions that they wouldn't have needed to ask if they had simply read the first e-mail I sent. It probably continued with the meeting that was held next door in which about twenty people were batting around concerns and ideas which greatly impacted my ability to concentrate and it was topped off by a series of events towards the end of the day that taxed my patience to no end. I don't have a lot of patience and by the end of they day, I'd even exhausted my emergency supply!

When I got home yesterday afternoon, I realized something. I really, really like the people I work with. If I didn't, I'd probably go crazy, but I do. I walked out yeterday after a horrible day laughing with a good friend. No matter how bad things are, the people around me can laugh with me about it. They are some of the most compassionate people I've ever met and they always make me laugh. Whether it's a simply glance during they day to convey our mutual frustration or a conversation at lunch, I am continually blessed by these people and how much I enjoy spending time with them. They understand and that's important....and I guess in the dark cloud that was yesterday, that's the silver lining.

Musings....

This one jumps around quite a bit....but it's been that kind of day. :)


I can be a little critical at times. Catch your breath...I know...that's a shocking statement for those of you that thought you knew me so well. The truth is, I'd really like to be more optimistic about the state of society, but I am a realist and quite frankly society kind of scares me. There's a whole lot of barely functioning human beings out there and some that shouldn't be out there at all. Having said that, I've been thinking about a few things that would make the world (or at least my world) a better place.

It goes without saying that world peace, ending world hunger, and ceasing oppression of all groups of people in all forms would do a whole lot to help the world, but that's not exactly what I have in mind. I'm talking about the day to day stuff...the stuff that just gets under your skin....the stuff that makes you want to grab a yard stick and...well, you get the idea.

1) Make common sense more common. Whatever happened to common sense? It seems to have taken a permanent vacation and it's not just certain segments of society....it's everywhere. People have simply stopped thinking. They no longer require themselves to think logically or rationally. It is as if they have decided that making an educated, reasonable decision is simply too much trouble, so to heck with it...let's just act stupid! Quite frankly, I'm a lot more understanding of someone that is truly ignorant that I am of someone that chooses to remain in a state of stupidity.

2) If you ask a question, keep your mouth shut long enough for someone to answer you. Very little irritates me (and I'm sure others) more than to have someone ask you a question and then interrupt you two and three times before you can get the answer out. If you wanted to run your mouth, why didn't you run it before you asked me the question. This is in the same vein as the next part of this complaint. If you already know what you are going to do, don't bother asking me a question. I have no interest in wasting my breath informing you of an opinion only to have you inform me that you're going to completely disregard everything I just said and do it your way.

3) Do not double dip. It is gross and it is becoming an epidemic. Several recent group gatherings have convinced me that table manners have been sorely neglected in our society. If you have a community dip, and you feel the need to dip your chip more than once, the correct process involves breaking the chip up into smaller pieces prior to dipping...not double dipping. I do not want to share your germs or your spit.

4) Respect personal space. There are people that are huggers...something about hugging makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. God bless them. I am not one of those people. I hug people at holidays, when it will offend them if I don't, and any other time I am forced by social conventions to do so. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you kept affection to yourself. It's nothing personal...I just don't feel the need to express my feelings for you in a way that involves smelling your shampoo.

5) Advice is appreciated when it is asked for...when it's not...not so much. I am 29 years old. I am unmarried and childless. My life is not incomplete. I do not live in a state of constant depression because I am looking for my other half. I am fine. I would be open to the idea of getting married and having children some day, but if it doesn't happen, I am ok with that. I could do without ever hearing another person ask me, "So, when are you gonna move out and get married?" or "Don't you want to have any kids? How old are you now?" My personal favorite is still "You just don't want to end up old and alone." Well, that's it then...I'll just get married so I won't grow up and be old and alone. That sounds like the foundation for a perfect marriage to me.


I think what the world needs most of all is a little more appreciation for differences in all aspects of life. Everyone doesn't need to be a cookie cutter of everyone else. Not everyone needs to be married. Not everyone is cut out to have a college degree. We need people to be cashiers, waiters, secretaries, etc. These are perfectly honorable occupations and we need to stop drilling the merits of college into student's heads. Sure, college is great. I'm going back myself. It can open up a world of opportunity and lots more money, but it can also put you in tons of debt and it doesn't guarantee you a job.

I believe that certain beliefs are important and the little stuff isn't so important. I believe that denominations are killing faith. People get so wrapped up in whether you go to this church or that church and whether you are Baptist or Methodist or Church of God that they forget the big picture. I think it's about God and believing and accepting Him.

People need to stop worrying so much about what experts say and start doing what they think is right and what works for them. You can spend your whole life not eating microwave popcorn and throwing out your cell phone because of this study and that study. You can stop feeding your children red dye and you can never eat another hot dog and tomorrow it can all be over. I understand not purposely endangering yourself, but living in fear of all these different diseases because some "expert" said it's bad is crazy.

This will offend people. You’ve been warned.

I think part of the reason I’m as outspoken as I am is because Mama wasn’t. She lived most of her life thinking things but not saying them. She would say them to me and I would constantly say, “Why didn’t you just tell him/her that?” and she’d say, “I didn’t want to cause trouble.” She worried so much about how what she said made other people feel that she gave very little thought to how not saying anything made her feel. Mama was always so “nice”. I’m not “nice” and I know that. I don’t want to be nice. I want to be honest. I want to be fair, but it is perfectly ok with me if I’m not “nice”. I think “nice” is fake. Nobody is always nice. People that pretend they are put on a great act. Mama was the absolute best person I ever knew. She cared about people more than anyone I knew and probably will ever know, but even she was not always as “nice” as she pretended to be. There were many times when she would have loved to tell someone exactly what she thought. Every so often if you hit her at just the right (or wrong..depending on your perspective) moment she would lose it, but those moments were few and far between.



Mama taught me a lot and one of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t realize just how smart she was until after she was gone. The way she raised me is a dying art. She told me to do things and I did them. If I didn’t do them, I was in trouble….and I knew it. I don’t remember getting a lot of spankings. I don’t remember getting fussed at a lot, but I do remember knowing not to do things that would get me in trouble. I knew my boundaries because I had been taught them. Mama told me that if I ever got trouble in school that “I had not seen trouble until I walked in that house.” I never asked what that meant. I never needed to know. I never tested it. She meant what she said and I knew it. I was taught to act like an adult by being around adults. Good behavior was expected and I knew it.



I don’t think children are different now. I’m sure some personalities respond better to some discipline methods, but the fact is….if your child is going crazy in public, whatever you’re doing…it’s not working. Eventually the child that is kicking and screaming in Target is going to have to go to school. They are going to have to learn to sit in a desk for hours and work….quietly. They won’t have the option of being removed and given a chance to calm down and cool off….unless of course we give them some special accommodations to assist them with the behavioral needs. Is that really what this world has come to? Children having “their moments” are allowed to act however they want and no one is supposed to be annoyed….and if they are, they’re supposed to be the people that should leave? I don’t think so.



Public places have rules….if your child is disrupting a public place, they should be the one to leave…not everyone else. Quite frankly I don’t think they have a right to be there if their behavior is not within socially acceptable guidelines. This is one of those situations where providing for one is infringing upon the rights of the many. Just because someone can't handle their child's temper tantrum doesn't mean the entire restaurant/mall/store/movie theater should have to be subjected to it...and it certainly doesn't mean that the other patrons should be the ones that have leave.


As you can see, this is a real hot-button issue for me as I've had many a meal ruined by a child that was out of control. I started to look online to see how many restaurants actually had child policies and the result was actually surprising. Larger cities have numerous restaurants that don't allow children and still other restaurants have child free nights. One restaurant that got a great deal of attention due to their no-children under six policy has actually posted 20% gains since the policy started and reports a extremely positive response (11 to 1) to the change.

I know I'm not going to change any minds here and I'm not trying to, really. It isn't my place to tell someone how to parent their child. I just want people to understand why I feel the way I do.

If I ever have children (I don't plan to, but if I ever do) I'll raise them the same way my mother raised me. I don't care how different from me they are. It doesn't matter--to me the philosophy doesn't change. She expected a lot from me. She expected me to act civilized and controlled and respectful--and I did. I did it because I knew she expected it and I didn't want to disappoint her. I also knew that embarrassing her in public would end badly for me. I wasn't afraid of her, but I respected her. She obviously did something right.

OD'ed on PC

First of all, this post will probably anger some people. I would apologize, if I were sorry, but the truth is I'm really not. If you know me at all, you'll know I'm not very good at sugarcoating things. I say what I feel and if you don't like it--well then, you don't. That's ok. This was actually inspired by my cousin, Kimberly's, facebook post. She and I have very different views on pretty much every issue in the world. It's gotten more obvious as we've gotten older, but the fact remains we're very different people. We still get along fine (at least I think we do), but we disagree on Facebook quite frequently so much so that I imagine she sighs when she sees a notification of my posts.


Having said that....one of her recent posts brought up the subject of children--more specifically the fact that spanking, in her opinion, is a discipline method that shouldn't be a first resort and one that she will not use in public. The discussion continued into the fact that spanking doesn't make more well-behaved children...yada..yada...yada...


Here's my take. I don't have children, but I was once a child and I can tell you that I received exactly three spankings in my lifetime. I can tell you when I received them and why I received them. I can also tell you that I knew better than to ever do what I did to get those spankings again. That's how spanking should work. You shouldn't have to go around spanking your children every day. You should be able to discipline your children and have them connect the discipline to their behavior. If your children are misbehaving in public and you want to remove them from the situation, go for it, but is it really teaching your children anything to prove to them that their behavior dictates the family's agenda.


To give children an easy out by saying "they are just kids" is bizarre to me. I was with my mother at doctor's appointments, grocery stores, hospitals, and a variety of other public areas for most of my childhood and I NEVER considered acting the way I see children acting. My mom would have brought my world to a screeching halt and I knew it. She never dreaded taking me places. She commented about that countless times. I can remember an incident in Target when we struck up a conversation with a young mother in line in front of us. She was pulling her child off a rack and lamenting the fact that she "had to bring him with her today." When she left Mama looked at me and said, "I never hated bringing you with me. You knew better than to even think about acting that way."


I'm not advocating parents beating on their children in public because they giggled too loud, but if your child is a public nuisance, it's unfair. Their right to be in public does not trump my right to have a quiet, peaceful dinner. It is your responsibility to keep your children from infringing upon the rights of everyone else around you.


I have three dogs...how would you feel about me letting them out in the morning at about 5 am so they could bark and wake up the whole neighborhood? I'd be willing to bet that more than a few people would be unhappy...but why? They're just dogs..and dogs are supposed to bark.

whew, I feel better....

Memories

I thought about doing this last year, but I think it was simply too soon for me. After you lose someone that is so important to you, you're told that it will get easier and that time will make it better. At first, you think people are crazy. You're certain that nothing will ever make it easier, and in some aspects, you're right. There will never be a day when I will be ok with losing my Mama. There will never be a time when I won't experience a twinge of sadness when I see mothers and daughters together or when I see a Mother's Day card. The thing that time has brought me is perspective. For quite a few months after Mama died, every memory of her made me cry. It was a reminder of everything that I lost. Thinking of her was painful because it just reminded me that she wasn't here with me any longer. Sometimes I still cry. Sometimes I still feel alone. Sometimes I even think that I haven't made much progress at all, but even then, I'll think of something and I'll smile. I have finally reached the point where memories of her can make me laugh....and that's the best I can hope for. I wanted to write this post not to blather on and on about what I've been through but to honor Mama in a way that I think she deserved. I want to tell you things about her that I loved and the things that I appreciated.

1) Mama never put herself first. From the time I was little, I never remember a time when we were not caring for my grandparents. She wanted them to have company and to never feel lonely. After they became too ill to be alone, we practically moved in here. Mama was the main caretaker in the house and no matter how tired she got, she never let them see it. I watched her work through her own sicknesses. I watched her work through mine. I watched her make suppers and fix medicines and shuttle them back and forth to the doctors. I watched her do all this...not because she had to...but because she knew they needed her. I can remember when Grandaddy died, Mama told me that she didn't have any idea what she was going to do because she'd never had a time in her life where she didn't feel like she had to take care of them. After I found out that she had passed away, the first thing I thought of was them. She was finally with them again and none of them needed to be taken care of anymore.

2) Mama would have done anything in the world for me. All through school, she never missed an APT meeting or a school play. I always had homemade lunches and I was able to bring in snacks for our school parties. I never lacked anything that I needed and I never wanted for anything. She took an interest in my life which taught me that I was important to her. She also took an interest in my schoolwork which made me be a better student. Even throughout high school, she was aware of what my classes were and who my teachers were. I never felt unimportant no matter how much she had going on.

3) Mama always had time for me. Some of my best memories are of us singing some of her "homemade tunes" in the car. She had a knack for coming up with silly songs, one of which was "Puff not Spot" about a dog that thought he was a kitty cat. These songs were just for me and that's what made them special. I never doubted that I was...not for a second. Every night before bed, she'd sing and read to me. Many a night, I'd fall asleep to songs or stories of Miss Piggle Wiggle. Even now, I can sing those songs and though she's not here to sing them to me, I like to think she knows I still think about it.

4) A few things Mama loved:

Randy Travis--Mama always said she would never fly unless someone gave her an all expense paid trip to fly and meet Randy Travis.

Cello cherries--She liked them best straight out of the freezer. I find them revolting. I never did understand her affinity for them.

Duke--Duke died almost one week to the day after Mama did. I think he went to find her. I hope he's with her now. I think he is.

Thinking back, I know I am incredibly luck. For one, I had an absolutely amazing Mother for 26 years. For another, I had a chance to say everything I needed to say to her and I know she heard me. Not everyone gets that chance, and I'm thankful for it. I'll never forget the woman she was and everything she taught me. I know everything happens for a reason, and I can only hope that one day I'll understand. As it stands now, I'll never forget the woman she was and everything she's taught me. She loved me everyday and I'll love and remember her forever.

Catching Up...

So it's been a while since I've posted. Here's a brief overview of my life the last few months:

1) I've developed yet another medical issue. It all started in the middle of the night when I was seriously contemplating the amputation of my big toe. When I hobbled into work the next morning, and explained the situation, I was given all sorts of possible solutions. Most people were convinced I'd injured it somehow yet there were a few that thought it was gout. One dear friend remarked, "It can't be gout...only old men get gout." Good news guys, that rumor can be put to rest....twenty-something year old females also get gout. Lucky me. :)

2) Frightening development in my life...while I was in the doctor's office waiting on them to diagnose my toe issue, I was filling out paperwork. When I had to fill out my age, it occurred to me that I couldn't remember how old I was. When does that happen exactly? When you can't remember for sure if you're 27 or 28 or maybe 29. It's sad that I don't even keep track. It's even sadder that doing the math in my head was incredibly difficult.

3) Working full time, trying to keep a house running, and being a full time student stinks! I always liked school and I still enjoy the classes, but this whole working full time and coming home to the other job of being a student is tougher than I planned. Before you say it, I know that I'll be so glad I did it once it's done. I'm just not thrilled with the process at the moment.

4) I think I might have a serious addiction to technology. I don't quite know when it happened. It is indeed a rare occurrence to find me without my Kindle/Ipod/Ipad/Droid/Computer with me. It's a scary state of affairs when someone as anti-social as myself has become this connected to the world.

5) A few quotes I've found recently that I quite enjoyed.... Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -Mark Twain There are no stupid questions. There are a lot of inquisitive idiots. Sometimes the first screw that comes loose is the one that holds the tongue firmly in place.

Eureka!

I came to a startling conclusion today that may cause me to rethink my entire philosophy on life. I've been operating under the belief that a great percentage of the population is just plain dense, which you might realize, is a nice word for stupid. Mind you, I'm not actually calling them limited in a mental capacity, I'm simply referring to their possession of an element of common sense. Today, as I was responding to an e-mail...saying the same thing for quite possibly the fourth time, it occur ed to me....Most people aren't stupid...they are LAZY!

It's all a giant conspiracy. It's not that people don't know how to do things. No one can honestly be that stupid. You can't possibly explain something five and six times to one person and not at some point get through to them....unless of course they don't want to get it! Ahhhh...comes the dawn.

You see, it's all clear to me now. People don't want to learn, because if they learn, they will be expected to do...and after all, isn't it easier to feign ignorance and have someone else do it for you?????? Sure, they'll call you stupid, but how stupid can you be, when you're sitting at your desk at your school, while I'm pulling records and faxing them, while calling school districts because I can't get a simple instruction across to you??????? Evil genius maybe?

The same applies to men (not all men....but all large majority). My father (God love him) claimed for the longest time that he didn't know how to operate the dryer. You understand, I showed him, I talked him through it, I had him do it with me helping him, and yet he still claimed he just couldn't get it. When I finally had enough, I took a red Sharpie and drew on the dryer. Giant red lines of pure rage now decorate our dryer panel, but now he knows how to work the dryer. Funny thing though....he can wash clothes now too...without the red sharpie. You see, he always knew how, but it was so much easier to say he didn't. You see where I'm going with this. They all know how....Don't be fooled.

"Be It Ever so Humble...There's No Place Like Home!"

As I was sitting here pondering how to begin this post, I tried to remember when this beach trip "event" started...with no luck. I do know that it used to involve me, Barbara, Kimberly, Karen, Aunt Ann, and Aunt Carolyn stuffed into compact car. Somehow this year we did pick up a few stragglers, but they were welcome additions to the crew.

The weekend as a whole went smoothly. No car trouble, wardrobe malfunctions (unless you count Beth's purse, and I'm almost certain she does), or mistaken room identities. Our only snags came when we decided on places to eat. When you're on a trip with 9 women, all of whom don't want to say where to go, but none of whom have the same tastes, you've got issues....and we did....we had issues. I'm happy to report that they were resolved without incident and everyone seemed pleased enough with our choices...or at least I think they were.

As I reflected on this weekend though, we've certainly changed over the years. We used to be thrilled to go to flea markets and beach stores, and the younger car (as we lovingly referred to it) was even balking at the Tanger outlets. Chucky Cheese used to be the first stop and quite possibly the highlight of the trip. I'm pretty sure I'd rather be tarred and feathered, and there wasn't a movie night to be found. No rousing choruses of "Norman" or "Tell Laura I Love Her" rang through the car, and not a moment was spent drifting through a lazy river.

It was a very different trip, but not any less fun, and not any less tiring. By the time we got home, I was more than ready. On another note, after my Mom died, I wondered if I would feel differently about being away from home. I've always been a homebody and I hated to be away from home. I always wondered if it was really about being away from her. Sure, I missed her...a lot, and I still miss her, but I've come to realize that I miss my actual home. I miss my dogs and my bed and everything that makes my house...me. The mess on the floor in the corner of my room is a comfort to me because it reminds me that I live here and that I'm free to be me here. No matter how old I get, or how far I go...however short a period or long...I'm always thankful to come home.

Back in the Swing of Things

Going back to work after a two week break is never easy, and to be honest, I didn't expect it to be. When I woke up Monday morning, I knew I would feel as if I had been hit like a truck. I did not disappoint myself. Unfortunately, I failed to take into account one thing.....the morning after.

If I thought getting up Monday was rough, today was something I can't even describe. I literally would have thrown myself on the floor and wailed if I thought it would have done any good. It was a truly horrifying experience...especially for those poor individuals that have to work with me.

The days have been tedious and slow, but certainly not uneventful. By the time the end of the day finally arrives I barely have the energy to change clothes and make it to the couch. I was nice (or stupid) enough to get Daddy a Wii for Christmas and I hooked it up the TV in the living room. For the last week or so, I've been treated to Netflix streaming of Gunsmoke movies nonstop. I can't even stop being annoyed at home.

I got home today, primed and ready to put myself in a better mood. I banished my father from the house, turned on the TV, and quickly flipped the channel to find something lighthearted...just in time to come across that charming advertisement for the ASPCA. Seriously????? If you know me at all, you'll know that while I may not always be the most sensitive person towards people, I absolutely adore animals. I spent a full time minutes sniffling and whimpering over a COMMERCIAL! Cleo and Rocky think I'm insane as well since I also pulled them both into smothering hugs. Rocky still won't come out from under the chair (not that it's necessarily a bad thing). Cleo, on the other hand, just kind of cuts her eyes at me as if to ask, "You OK?" Nope..not really.

New Year

My Grandaddy Hoyt used to say, "What you do on New Years Day, you'll do all year long." I have to admit, I was pretty safe given my alarming lack of activity today. The sum total of my physical activity today included putting biscuits in the oven (the frozen kind...don't get excited) and heating ham to go in them. I thought about doing laundry, but that is about as far into that process as I got.

I've decided that doing any sort of physical activity is particularly unappealing to me because I have to return to work on Monday. Don't misunderstand me, I'm very thankful to have a job, and as jobs go, I rather like the one I have, but I dislike the fact that it is somewhere I have to get up and go every day. I believe if I could go in when I woke up, wearing my pajamas, I'd be much more content with this burden. As it stands, I suppose I'll continue being forced into this conformity.

A lot of people make resolutions on this day, and I really should make some of my own. There are plenty of things I could do to better myself. I could resolve to eat healthier, exercise more, and spend more time doing constructive things with my spare time, but that would just lead to breaking resolutions which hardly seems like a worthwhile activity.

Come Monday many of us will be returning to work. Sorry to those of you that have had to return before now, and I don't even want to hear from those of you that don't have to return yet or at all.....One more night to stay up late..one more morning to wake up without an alarm. How long til Spring Break?