I've been thinking....

I can't move around much at the moment, so I've had a lot of time to sit and listen to the news coverage surrounding the tragic events in Charleston, SC. This is probably not what I should do, but this story has been heavy on my heart all day long. 

Let me begin by saying I am truly disgusted by these events. It saddens me to know this level of evil exists in the world. It also reminds me of just how quickly your entire world can change.

I was struck, while watching the news coverage, reading articles, and viewing Facebook by how many people kept saying how horrible this was that something like this happened "in a church" or "to people trying to worship God".

What does that mean exactly? Would this be any less horrible if it occurred in a bar? In a drug infested back alley? In a strip club? Are individuals in those establishments any less worthy of a life? Of course not.

Part of the issue with statements like this lies in the implication within--Are Christians better than everyone else? Are their lives more precious? Did Jesus think so? As one who is far from a Biblical scholar, I tend to shy away from Biblical references, however I feel fairly certain of the facts involving Jesus' frequent association with "undesirables".

The other issue imbedded in this tragedy may well gave more basis in fact but is still needs an examination. There is certainly reason to suspect this crime could be racially motivated and, at the risk of sparking a serious debate, why does that matter?

9 people are dead. People. Human brings. Living, breathing, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and friends. How can we ever expect to achieve anything similar to togetherness if we continually qualify ourselves with these adjectives.

Yes--the victims were African American. And if they had been Asian? Middle Eastern? Mexican? White? Biracial? Would that be better? Worse? The same? 

Why must we continually attempt to make these tragic events into arguments when what we need to do is examine why we so readily separate ourselves into these ridiculous groups?

When I think about the tragic events in Charleston, I don't think about it as a as a hate crime. I don't think about it as a racial statement. I think about it as a tragic loss--a loss that will deprive the world of 9 people and the gifts and skills they could have shared with all of us. I won't label them as Methodists, Church-goers, African Americans, or even Americans. They are people--people who were taken much too soon.

"Wage-ing" War

I have thought a lot about the fight to raise the minimum wage. I hate the thought of anyone not being able to financially support their family. I also hate the fact that many are refused public assistance because they choose to work and therefore make too much money. I understand raising the minimum wage seems like a good idea and it makes sense in theory. If people don't make enough money, have them make more money. That fixes everything, right???? Not quite.

 1) The minimum wage in SC is currently $7.25/hr. President Obama wants to raise the wage to $10.10/hr. That's almost $3/hr. Quick math here...40 hours a week..that's an additional $120. But that's great right. That pays for groceries or pays an electric bill. Maybe, but what about the business owner that has 50 minimum wage employees to pay. He/She already has to figure out how to come up with the money to fund the Affordable Care Act, now we want him/her to reach into that savings account (it's just bursting with money, right) and shell out an extra $6000 a week to pay those people?! No problem!!! Until they can't and they close and then the minimum wage workers are now unemployed workers. Hmmmm...who pays that wage?????

 2) Also, riddle me this--for all the people who make $10 or $11 or $12/hr--the people who make that because they worked with this company for 10 years and have worked hard through low wages and financial strain--what happens to their wage? Are they now the new minimum wage workers making the minimum legal wage or a dollar or so more??? How about the people that have gone to college or trade school and are at entry level salary levels (sadly a lot like what's listed above). Is this how we reward them for their time, hard work, and money spent?

 3) There is no free money. Businesses are already struggling. They can't afford to pay higher wages. This will bury many of them. Raising the minimum wage will raise the unemployment rate which in turn will send the economy into a downward spiral and what happens then?? Higher prices on goods, gas, and everything else. Home loans will be difficult to get, interest rates will increase--the general cost of living will skyrocket. At that point, the minimum wage increase is pretty much pointless.

Syria

I don't watch news all the time. If I'm being honest, there may be some days I don't watch it at all. I don't always read the newspaper and a lot of my news alerts come from local news apps on my phone. The proceeding facts should make the remainder of this entry even more disturbing. You don't need to be tuned in all day everyday to know about the problems in Syria. It's all over the news all the time--as it should be! We were horrified that Syria used chemical weapons and killed innocent children and civilians. Was it horrible? Of course. Should something be done? Of course. Do we attempt to set up some form of aide to help victims? No....we do the opposite. We threaten air strikes, because what better way to speak out against the deaths of innocents than by killing innocents???? The Syrians say they will retaliate (wouldn't you?). Does this bother our President? Does it alarm him that a country he is planning to attack has vowed retaliation? No. He says, "The notion that Mr. Assad could significantly threaten the United States is just not the case." Nice. We go into a country that has not taken any action against us supposedly to speak out against the very violence our presence will bring. We do this knowing retaliation will follow and we are arrogant and brazen enough to call them an insignificant threat on a national television interview?????? Sometimes there truly are no words.

Across the country

I guess I haven't been paying much attention to the news lately...somehow the same-sex marriage controversy in California managed to allude me until this morning. Of course I knew about the different arguments and court rulings from years ago, but I wasn't aware it was in the news again. I was brought up in church, taught the Bible, and geared toward certain standards of right and wrong. The older I get though, I start to wonder how you know for sure exactly how hard you should fight to be right. Is being right worth everything? Do I believe that homosexuality is a sin? Yes. Do I believe lying is a sin? Yes. Gluttony? Yes. Adultery? Yes. Jealousy? Yes. We all sin. We sin every single day. We sin and pray and ask for forgiveness knowing good and full well that we will sin again. Does that make us less of a sinner than a homosexual? I don't know. I know that Jesus loved the unlovable. I know that He reached out to those who were considered outcasts. I know that he would minister to people others wouldn't even go near. As Christians, we're supposed to aspire to ge like Jesus, right? Are we accomplishing that by alienating a group of people by telling them their lifestyle is sinful, disgusting, and unworthy of being recognized under the law? I don't think so. How can you witness to someone that you can't associate with. How do you witness to someone you've cast aside because their choices are against your beliefs? How can you expect someone to hear your words and see God's love in you when it is all hidden behind judgment and disdain? Personally, I believe same-sex marriage should be legally recognized. I don't agree with it as a moral choice and I would not choose to participate in that lifestyle, but I do not believe it is possible to reach people while simultaneously condemning and segregating them. Jesus met people where they were....not where He was...not where He wished they were. He took them with all their flaws. Perhaps we could strive to do the same.

"Bully": The Movie

Last night I settled in on the couch to watch a movie.  I flipped through Amazon Instant planning to choose between a comedy or drama.  The plan was to watch "Flight", but I happened across a new documentary called "Bully".  I'm not the type of person that regularly has "life-altering" moments after watching movies, but this in an exception.  I have never been as moved by anything as I was by this movie. 

If you haven't seen this movie, please find it and watch it.  Redbox, Amazon Instant, ITunes, and most big box stores carry it.  Never before have I seen a more disturbing representation of what happens every day in our schools.  This isn't a fictitious movie plot.  It's not a dramatized depiction aimed to create some sort of scandal.  This is an honest, real look at the lives of children who spend their days being absolutely tortured in schools across the country. 

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this film is that it centers around real families that are dealing, in some cases, with the loss of their children.  These children were so tortured that they actually took their own lives in order to escape the pain.  Footage included in this documentary showed buses, hallways, and classrooms where children mocked, hit, and screamed at each other in full view of adults who stood by doing NOTHING! 

When parents came to the school officials, they are pacified and ignored.  This isn't an isolated incident.  It's not a school in another state that has an issue.  This is a world wide issue.  Every school should be dealing with this.  My mother talked about bullies when she attended school.  There were bullies when I attended school and there are bullies in schools now.  The only differences is that we have now made bullying so much more convenient. 

Children, many of whom are in grade school, are accessing social media websites.  While much of this interaction may be harmless, it can easily become an avenue for spreading hatred and rumors.  It's no longer enough that children are bullied at school; now bullying can follow them home.

I cried through most of the movie.  I wasn't bullied in school.  I had friends and family and an excellent support system.  I was happy and healthy and I never doubted my worth.  I didn't bully others, but I know that others were bullied. 

I wish I could say that I stopped it, but I didn't.  I didn't join in, but I just stood back and allowed it to happen...and that's what is happening now.  We are standing back and allowing children to be tortured.  We are standing back and watching while young people suffer to the point of taking their own lives. 

Teachers, Administrators, Staff, Parents, Friends, and most importantly--children need to become aware of the impact that bullying can have on a child.  They need to know that words can hurt.  They need to see it.  This movie can educate and inspire.  It ends with a phrase...Everything starts with one, and it does.  One person can change everything.  The child that is being bullied can be saved by one adult that steps in.  The bully can be changed by words from his/her parents.  The friend can get through to their peers who engage in hateful and hurtful behavior.  The child who has no friends can see their entire world change when one child reaches out to them. 

One person really can change everything.

Three Wooden Crosses

Even though it has been almost four years, every now and then something will happen that makes those years vanish in an instant. Tonight that something was a song. I was listening to my Ipod (on shuffle) and happened upon "Three Wooden Crosses" by Randy Travis. For a fraction of a second, I wanted to call her name and tell her that Randy Travis was playing. Those moments are the hardest.

I don't know if I'll ever get used to those first few seconds in the mornings. Usually it's after I've had a particulary vivid dream about her--I'll wake up and for a few wonderful seconds, I'll expect to hear her moving around in the house. The realization that inevitably comes is sometimes enough to make me cry.

  I guess I've been most surprised by the things I miss. I expected to miss her; she was my best friend. She was the person that I spent the most time with and the person that could make me laugh more than anyone. We had a relationship that many mothers and daughters would envy and she was the one person that I knew would move heaven and earth for me no matter what.

  Mama enjoyed taking care of people. She did everything around the house and even though I don't enjoy having to do the household chores she always took care of, that isn't even close to what I miss most about her. I miss our talks. We could talk for hours about anything. If I was complaining or ranting about something (shocking I know), she'd just sit and listen. When I finished (or paused a moment to breathe), she'd smile, look over at me and say, "Did the grumpy bug bite you?" No matter how mad or irritated I was I had to smile...I just couldn't help it. I smiled a lot when I was with her.

  I miss watching tv and movies with her. She loved funny shows and she'd laugh until she cried, but watching a sad movie with her was entertaining as well. Just as I reached the point of sobbing uncontrollably, she'd usually start shaking with laughter. She said it was nervous energy, but it's not easy to explain in a crowded movie theater.

There are times even now that I have the urge to pick up the phone and call her number. I'd give anything just to talk to her. She was such a huge part of my life that I have yet to discover all the vacant spots her absence has left. There are so many things about her that made her special and I hope she knew how blessed I felt to have her as a mother. She made up songs for me, songs that I'm so grateful to still remember. One was about a dog named Puff, not Spot, that thought he was a kitty cat. Though it sounds like a silly memory, I can hear her sing that song in my head and sometimes at night that's what gets me to sleep.

  The truth is the memories I have of her are the only things that get me through. Even though she's not here physically, I have to believe she can see things. I have to believe she knows that I am ok. I believe that she knows I'm getting the degree she always wanted me to get and I hope with everything in me that she sees that I have made it without her...just like I promised her I would.

  I wish I could hug her and tell her how much I love her, but those days are over for me. I have to remember all the times I did...and even though it still never seems like enough, I know that she knew how much I loved her. If you still have your mother in your life, never miss a moment to tell her how much you love her. Never miss a moment to hug her. Never miss a moment to tell her how much she is appreciated. When it is all said and done, those are the moments and the memories that you'll treasure.

My Grandparent's America

@toridykes:" My president is black, my senator is a lesbian and my congressman is gay. This is not your grandparents' America, and I'm ok with that." If you know me at all, and if you're reading this blog I assume you do, you know that I don't hold my tongue well. I typically do not involve myself in political discussions for that very reason. Things can get ugly fast. Today though, after reading the quoted tweet above, I simply could not stand to sit by and say nothing. I should first note that I wouldn't care if Barack Obama was purple if I thought he was a good for our country. I wasn't thrilled with either of our choices this go round, so I take issue with the comments about being too racist to support Obama. I also take issue with the fact that individuals feel led to inform me that a vote for Romney meant that I didn't care about human rights or women's rights. So in response to Tori Dyke's clever tweet, I have a few comments of my own. Unfortunately they are surpassing the 140 character mark at the moment. You're absolutely right. This isn't our Grandparent's America. My grandparents were good, honest people that made decisions based on morality, decency, and truth. My grandparents believed in God and the Bible and used those beliefs to guide them throughout their lives. My grandparents lived in a very different time. Our country made mistakes. People were mistreated--horribly, but they learned their lessons and moved forward. They knew the value of hard work and money. They didn't want people to give them anything. They wanted to earn it. They wanted to deserve it. My Grandparents believed that, as a country, we were founded on Christian beliefs. They prayed at home and in schools and they taught their children to do the same. A lot has changed since my Grandparent's America. We just made a choice between a Muslim president and a Morman candidate. When did that happen? When did it become okay in our society for a Christian candidate to not be on the ticket? When people were interviewed on the network coverage many were asked who they voted for and why. Over and over again Obama's stance on social issues was praised. Pro-choice, for same sex marriage, pro-gay rights. These are the views of the man who is leading our nation? One has to wonder what God is thinking right now. Regardless of my opinion, I will support Obama. He is our President and I will pray he leads us well. But, for the record, No--this isn't my Grandparents America, and I'm not okay with that.