Last night I settled in on the couch to watch a movie. I flipped through Amazon Instant planning to choose between a comedy or drama. The plan was to watch "Flight", but I happened across a new documentary called "Bully". I'm not the type of person that regularly has "life-altering" moments after watching movies, but this in an exception. I have never been as moved by anything as I was by this movie.
If you haven't seen this movie, please find it and watch it. Redbox, Amazon Instant, ITunes, and most big box stores carry it. Never before have I seen a more disturbing representation of what happens every day in our schools. This isn't a fictitious movie plot. It's not a dramatized depiction aimed to create some sort of scandal. This is an honest, real look at the lives of children who spend their days being absolutely tortured in schools across the country.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this film is that it centers around real families that are dealing, in some cases, with the loss of their children. These children were so tortured that they actually took their own lives in order to escape the pain. Footage included in this documentary showed buses, hallways, and classrooms where children mocked, hit, and screamed at each other in full view of adults who stood by doing NOTHING!
When parents came to the school officials, they are pacified and ignored. This isn't an isolated incident. It's not a school in another state that has an issue. This is a world wide issue. Every school should be dealing with this. My mother talked about bullies when she attended school. There were bullies when I attended school and there are bullies in schools now. The only differences is that we have now made bullying so much more convenient.
Children, many of whom are in grade school, are accessing social media websites. While much of this interaction may be harmless, it can easily become an avenue for spreading hatred and rumors. It's no longer enough that children are bullied at school; now bullying can follow them home.
I cried through most of the movie. I wasn't bullied in school. I had friends and family and an excellent support system. I was happy and healthy and I never doubted my worth. I didn't bully others, but I know that others were bullied.
I wish I could say that I stopped it, but I didn't. I didn't join in, but I just stood back and allowed it to happen...and that's what is happening now. We are standing back and allowing children to be tortured. We are standing back and watching while young people suffer to the point of taking their own lives.
Teachers, Administrators, Staff, Parents, Friends, and most importantly--children need to become aware of the impact that bullying can have on a child. They need to know that words can hurt. They need to see it. This movie can educate and inspire. It ends with a phrase...Everything starts with one, and it does. One person can change everything. The child that is being bullied can be saved by one adult that steps in. The bully can be changed by words from his/her parents. The friend can get through to their peers who engage in hateful and hurtful behavior. The child who has no friends can see their entire world change when one child reaches out to them.
One person really can change everything.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Three Wooden Crosses
Even though it has been almost four years, every now and then something will happen that makes those years vanish in an instant. Tonight that something was a song. I was listening to my Ipod (on shuffle) and happened upon "Three Wooden Crosses" by Randy Travis. For a fraction of a second, I wanted to call her name and tell her that Randy Travis was playing. Those moments are the hardest.
I don't know if I'll ever get used to those first few seconds in the mornings. Usually it's after I've had a particulary vivid dream about her--I'll wake up and for a few wonderful seconds, I'll expect to hear her moving around in the house. The realization that inevitably comes is sometimes enough to make me cry.
I guess I've been most surprised by the things I miss. I expected to miss her; she was my best friend. She was the person that I spent the most time with and the person that could make me laugh more than anyone. We had a relationship that many mothers and daughters would envy and she was the one person that I knew would move heaven and earth for me no matter what.
Mama enjoyed taking care of people. She did everything around the house and even though I don't enjoy having to do the household chores she always took care of, that isn't even close to what I miss most about her. I miss our talks. We could talk for hours about anything. If I was complaining or ranting about something (shocking I know), she'd just sit and listen. When I finished (or paused a moment to breathe), she'd smile, look over at me and say, "Did the grumpy bug bite you?" No matter how mad or irritated I was I had to smile...I just couldn't help it. I smiled a lot when I was with her.
I miss watching tv and movies with her. She loved funny shows and she'd laugh until she cried, but watching a sad movie with her was entertaining as well. Just as I reached the point of sobbing uncontrollably, she'd usually start shaking with laughter. She said it was nervous energy, but it's not easy to explain in a crowded movie theater.
There are times even now that I have the urge to pick up the phone and call her number. I'd give anything just to talk to her. She was such a huge part of my life that I have yet to discover all the vacant spots her absence has left. There are so many things about her that made her special and I hope she knew how blessed I felt to have her as a mother. She made up songs for me, songs that I'm so grateful to still remember. One was about a dog named Puff, not Spot, that thought he was a kitty cat. Though it sounds like a silly memory, I can hear her sing that song in my head and sometimes at night that's what gets me to sleep.
The truth is the memories I have of her are the only things that get me through. Even though she's not here physically, I have to believe she can see things. I have to believe she knows that I am ok. I believe that she knows I'm getting the degree she always wanted me to get and I hope with everything in me that she sees that I have made it without her...just like I promised her I would.
I wish I could hug her and tell her how much I love her, but those days are over for me. I have to remember all the times I did...and even though it still never seems like enough, I know that she knew how much I loved her. If you still have your mother in your life, never miss a moment to tell her how much you love her. Never miss a moment to hug her. Never miss a moment to tell her how much she is appreciated. When it is all said and done, those are the moments and the memories that you'll treasure.
I don't know if I'll ever get used to those first few seconds in the mornings. Usually it's after I've had a particulary vivid dream about her--I'll wake up and for a few wonderful seconds, I'll expect to hear her moving around in the house. The realization that inevitably comes is sometimes enough to make me cry.
I guess I've been most surprised by the things I miss. I expected to miss her; she was my best friend. She was the person that I spent the most time with and the person that could make me laugh more than anyone. We had a relationship that many mothers and daughters would envy and she was the one person that I knew would move heaven and earth for me no matter what.
Mama enjoyed taking care of people. She did everything around the house and even though I don't enjoy having to do the household chores she always took care of, that isn't even close to what I miss most about her. I miss our talks. We could talk for hours about anything. If I was complaining or ranting about something (shocking I know), she'd just sit and listen. When I finished (or paused a moment to breathe), she'd smile, look over at me and say, "Did the grumpy bug bite you?" No matter how mad or irritated I was I had to smile...I just couldn't help it. I smiled a lot when I was with her.
I miss watching tv and movies with her. She loved funny shows and she'd laugh until she cried, but watching a sad movie with her was entertaining as well. Just as I reached the point of sobbing uncontrollably, she'd usually start shaking with laughter. She said it was nervous energy, but it's not easy to explain in a crowded movie theater.
There are times even now that I have the urge to pick up the phone and call her number. I'd give anything just to talk to her. She was such a huge part of my life that I have yet to discover all the vacant spots her absence has left. There are so many things about her that made her special and I hope she knew how blessed I felt to have her as a mother. She made up songs for me, songs that I'm so grateful to still remember. One was about a dog named Puff, not Spot, that thought he was a kitty cat. Though it sounds like a silly memory, I can hear her sing that song in my head and sometimes at night that's what gets me to sleep.
The truth is the memories I have of her are the only things that get me through. Even though she's not here physically, I have to believe she can see things. I have to believe she knows that I am ok. I believe that she knows I'm getting the degree she always wanted me to get and I hope with everything in me that she sees that I have made it without her...just like I promised her I would.
I wish I could hug her and tell her how much I love her, but those days are over for me. I have to remember all the times I did...and even though it still never seems like enough, I know that she knew how much I loved her. If you still have your mother in your life, never miss a moment to tell her how much you love her. Never miss a moment to hug her. Never miss a moment to tell her how much she is appreciated. When it is all said and done, those are the moments and the memories that you'll treasure.
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